


a place for everything (and everything in its place)

by girlsarewolves



Category: The Haunting (1999)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Female Character, Canon Bisexual Character, F/F, Femslash, Fix-It, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Movie(s), horror femslash, intimacy issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7536667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlsarewolves/pseuds/girlsarewolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleanor has done nothing except survive. She survived eleven years of taking care of a mother who never favored her, and she survived Hill House and Hugh Crain.<br/>-<br/>(Or, the one where Nell lives and has an apartment and a window garden with Theo.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	a place for everything (and everything in its place)

**Author's Note:**

> I get the most random plot bunnies sometimes. This one would not leave me alone, so I put this movie on via Netflix and wrote this in one sitting. Not sure how I feel about it, but I am glad I was able to get it out. The title came from a needlework quote in Nell's mother's room. 
> 
> Feedback appreciated!

* * *

Some days are good days.  
  
Theo will turn the music all the way up and work on whatever idea has her blood pumping, and Nell will pretend to read while really watching Theo work.  
  
She loves the way Theo moves, the expressions she makes, when working on something that actually excites her. The way Theo gets caught up it in; that's why she turns the music up so loud, so it can break through the haze of her inspiration to give her a rhythm and focus. It's captivating in a way that comforts Nell.  
  
Later, when Nell finally drags Theo away from her project and out of her focused state - because, 'You need to drink something, Theo, have some tea or water, and maybe have a sandwich before your stomach gets louder than the music?' - they'll talk about the night shift at the hospice care where Nell works weekends and dance to the next song that comes on. Maybe this will last late into the night; or maybe they fall asleep on top of the covers before midnight.  
  
For a while they won't think about rent or utilities or the cable bill; they won't worry about how finances are tight, and that Nell needs more hours at work, and Theo needs to produce something she can sell. Their minds won't be drawn to the dark corners where Hill House as made residence.  
  
It will just be Theo and Nell and their little window garden.  
  
Those are the best days.  
  
Some days are bad days.  
  
Nell will come home just after dawn and fix tea, Earl Grey tea like her mother always drank, and when Theo comes in, bleary-eyed, Nell, without looking, will say, 'Go back to bed, Mom, I'll bring you your tea.'  
  
And when she turns to see Theo's concerned look, she'll remember. She'll remember her mother's gone, and she's better for it but that hurts to acknowledge sometimes.  
  
Sometimes she cries. Theo dumps the Earl Grey - because neither of them like it - and fixes the lavender tea that always seems to help Nell through these mornings, and Nell explains through her tears. Talks about the sweet grandmother who can't speak anymore and most likely won't be there the next time Nell goes to work. Or the father of three who is only fifty-two but cancer and the failed treatments against it have left him more haggard than some men twice his age. Or the countless other patients that come to hospice to die with some measure of comfort and dignity.  
  
Theo will comfort her quietly, with tea and gentle squeezes and soft lips on her tear-soaked cheeks.  
  
Later, maybe things will get better.  
  
Or maybe Theo, when the tea and touches aren't as successful as usual, questions Nell's choice of work. 'I just hate seeing you like this, Nell,' she says, but it will come out too close to Jane's patronizing, 'Just come and live with us, Nell. You can't make it in the real world,' which to her sounds more like, 'You aren't strong or smart or capable enough to survive, Nell.'  
  
But Eleanor has done nothing except survive. She survived eleven years of taking care of a mother who never favored her, and she survived Hill House and Hugh Crain.  
  
'You could always work at a daycare, you know,' Theo will often suggest.  
  
It won't happen, of course. Not after the first time. Nell had wanted to work with kids so badly, wanted to be the caregiver and nurturer the ghostly children of Hill House had been denied. And it had all seemed like it was going to work out, even her lack of a resume and the drop out of college had been overlooked once she had explained why, once she'd been given a background check, once she'd had a day to spend with the children for the staff to see how she handled them.  
  
And then one of the mothers found out the details of Nell's living arrangements. 'Our clients appreciate how much you care, Eleanor,' the supervisor had told her, 'But they just aren't ready to accept someone of your...lifestyle, as a caretaker for their children.'  
  
That was that.  
  
It didn't matter that Nell and Theo weren't even sexual, thanks to Nell's own struggle with her bisexual and physical intimacy with anyone. It didn't matter that Theo never came to her work place, or that Nell was the best worker they'd had.  
  
Just like it would never matter to her sister that she had taken care of their mother all on her own.  
  
Daycares would see her as a sexual deviant and Jane would always see her as sheltered and incompetent.  
  
Theo understands, she does. It just kills her to see Nell on the bad days, on the rough days when she's back there in her old apartment that was hell and home at once, taking care of and losing her mother all over again.  
  
Those are the worst days.  
  
They don't talk about Hill House.  
  
Probably they should; it hangs in the air often, a tangible presence in the loft apartment they share. Fitting, one might think, that Hill House lingers like a ghost, haunting their lives in ways others will never know or believe.  
  
They lived. They suffered, both in the house and out of it - Dr. Marrow faced scandal and ruin and only just avoided it because Nell and Theo and Luke's family all declined to press charges, Nell nearly faced a lawsuit from her own family over wrecking her mother's car that they had so kindly 'gifted' to her, and Theo's partners couldn't handle the damaged, subdued person she'd become. But they had survived.  
  
Is that not enough?  
  
Nell doesn't talk about her mother, or Jane - though Theo has met Jane and also slapped Jane's husband and spat on Jane's cheap, JC Penny's shoes - and Theo doesn't talk about her exes, and they don't talk about Hill House.  
  
It's never far from their minds, though.  
  
The nightmares and the scars and the way they turn the television up when the ceiling creaks or how they can't sleep in the dark make it clear how deeply that damn place left its mark.  
  
Most days are decent days.  
  
They're still figuring each other and this life they're building together out. They're still figuring out how to cope with their latest trauma, what ways the haunting has changed them, what new triggers to watch out for.  
  
Like any pair of roommates or lovers they squabble over little things and big things.  
  
Nell is learning that it's all right to shout sometimes; that Theo would rather Nell scream and yell and throw things and get it all out in the open than bottle it up and pretend everything is fine. She's learning that she can have limits and boundaries, and she doesn't have to take care of everything - and that sometimes, not being able to isn't a crime. She's learning what habits irritate Theo and what makes her uncomfortable.  
  
She knows Theo needs intimacy, which she cannot give - not yet, maybe not ever - but Theo never pressures. It's actually months before Theo comes to her for a talk, asking if it would bother Nell for her to go out, spend the night with someone.  
  
Possibly because Theo had the decency her sister always lacked to actually ask what Nell wants and is comfortable with, Nell is fine with the idea. She doesn't want to ask Theo to give up something she loves, not when Theo's lost plenty in the wake of Hill House.  
  
'Just not here, in our place,' is all she asks for.  
  
'Of course,' Theo promises. She hadn't planned on that ever happening anyway. Their apartment is theirs.  
  
Theo is learning commitment - at least of the emotional kind - and life after Purgatory, as Nell sometimes puts it. She's learning that Nell is full of emotion and passion, but struggles with how to let it out; and sometimes, she just can't, and not to push her. For Theo, this isn't completely foreign territory, but there are aspects that surprise her. The fact that she's a cuddler is one - though whether it's because she's found the right person or because she loves Nell and that's what Nell needs or because it's what she needs after the haunting, she isn't sure of.  
  
In the end, it doesn't really matter one way or the other.  
  
They struggle; Theo's love of authentic designer shoes and clothes goes on the back-burner, while Nell becomes a little obsessive with coupons. The pay they got for the failed experiment went towards making Nell's family back off - but though Nell still sometimes apologizes, Theo doesn't regret it at all.  
  
'Everyone struggles, Nell. You should know that,' she tells her sometimes, when they're figuring out how to manage their bills and their necessities and the money they spent on little things they didn't need, often while Theo brushes Nell's hair before they go to bed.  
  
Most days are decent.  
  
But the near constant fear has died down, and Theo spends less nights at other homes, and Nell starts to feel comfortable in her own skin and letting Theo see her in it, and they have a nice loft apartment in the city, where it's harder for selfish relatives or restless spirits to bother you.  
  
And they have a little window garden, and they might not feel the ocean breeze or hear the buoys in the water, but they're alive and together - and it's home.

**Author's Note:**

> So, one of the things that bothered me about this cheesy, mediocre, yet oddly easy to watch movie was Nell's death. Or more, how exactly the narrative handled it - there was almost a sense of, she's better off this way? Now she can be happy and free and with the kids and doesn't have to worry about anything? Which honestly upsets me a lot; whether that was the intention of the filmmakers or not, that's the impression I came away with. So I wanted to write something that said, 'Hey, guess what, she can survive this and anything else,' because I kind of projected on Nell (and Theo, to an extent; mostly in that Theo is confirmed bisexual, and I need more awesome bi ladies in my life, even if just in fandom). In fact, some of Nell's issues with intimacy and sexuality are probably a little too close to home, but sometimes a woman's gotta project her issues onto fictional characters for therapeutic reasons. Also, considering this is set in 1999, I figured that it was possible Nell could lose a job, especially working with kids, and that even be the reason said. However, if this is incorrect, please let me know!


End file.
